Omar lays an egg

July 30, 2008 at 10:57 am | Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment
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I told readers of this blog that a woman named Melody named a canary after me. The red canary is vibrant red color and sings like a star. He also lays eggs. Lots of them:

I’m not a scientist, but I know it’s pretty hard for boy birds to lay eggs. Turns out, Omar is a lady bird (let the jokes begin).

Melody has changed Omar’s name to Oma. Oma has popped out 4 eggs.

I wonder if that makes me the father?

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DMV = Torture

July 29, 2008 at 6:27 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment
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I’m off Mondays, so I decided to go get my car tags and license switched back to Texas. A little late, I know.

I woke up bright and early, went to the records building in Downtown Dallas, got my plates and then went to the DMV.

When I get there…it’s rock concert packed. Not like a “Metallica” rock concert, more like a “James Taylor” rock concert. I snapped a picture of all the people waiting…in ONE of the TWO packed rooms:

 I finally make my way up to the counter to get my license. I present the guy: my current valid Oklahoma license, my proof of insurance, my vehicle inspection and registration, show him my plates and present a US passport….and it wasn’t enough to get a drivers license. Needless to say, I was angry. Why wasn’t I getting a license? I was playing by the rules! What did I forget? My social security card.

With all the I-D theft stories I’ve done,  I have my social security card locked up in a little box, far from civilization. And this guy at the counter wanted it? My passport wasn’t enough?

Well, my girlfriend brought all her stuff, and at 930am, was handed this little stub:

The second line from the bottom says :Waiting Time: 2:29 hrs.

WHAT! It’s 930am! How many people are working? One?

We waited 10 minutes and only 1 name was called. At that pace, they’ll be calling her number sometime in September.

Dallas Cowboys Training Camp

July 25, 2008 at 4:45 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 3 Comments
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Here are some of the questions going into training camp for the Dallas Cowboys:

–Is Terry Glenn going to sign his contract?

–Will Tony Romo win a playoff game (notice how it’s not “will the Cowboys make the playoff?”)?

–Is T.O. going to carve a place for himself in the Ring of Honor with his play this year?

–Are the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders going to continue their strong performance AGAIN this year.

I can only answer one question…the last one.

YES THEY WILL!*

*photo courtesy of new KXAS Weekend Sports Anchor, Matt Barrie.

The biggest story I might have missed….

July 22, 2008 at 7:17 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment
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I was in Aledo, Texas last week.

While driving around the town, out of the corner of my eye, I spotted what looked like THE KING walking the streets of Aledo:

Not the Burger King, but this “King”:

Check out the chops on both pictures. The top one is Aledo’s Elvis. The other is a “younger” Elvis.

Seriously, if Elvis is living in Aledo, Texas, then expect to see hordes of fans flocking to Aledo.

Mark my words, if it’s him, Aledo is the new Graceland.

Dear Terrell Owens….

July 21, 2008 at 10:21 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 3 Comments
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Terrell, It was good seeing you on the ESPY’S on Sunday night. But there are three things I want to talk about.

First, your jacket:

I actually like it. I’m not sure if that’s a family crest, or some creative doodling, or maybe it was actually on the rack at some store that they wouldn’t let me in to. Whatever it is, we only saw it for a second…in bad lighting….. and while you were moving. If this is the new T.O. line of clothing, I wear a 42 regular. Granted, your arms are much bigger than mine, but I know a good tailor, so if you’re never going to wear that ever again, consider me charity.

Secondly, who was that woman sitting to your left? Was that your date? Wowsers! She was a genetic lottery winner. If I’m lucky enough to go to a Cowboys home game this year, and Jessica Simpson and that girl are both there, I might not see any of the game.

Lastly, let’s talk about your ESPN Gift Bag. What’s in it? Well, a personal booze breathalizer, various gift certificates, a free burrito a week for a year (seriously, from Chipotle), a vacuum cleaner (who knew?), tickets to a Disney show, 2-hours of livery service in an eco-friendly car (don’t bring any linemen), a golf putter, a Russian diving watch (you don’t need that…I do…I’m constantly late….and diving…..in Russia), designer sunglasses, gift certificate for level 1 cd-rom to learn a new language with the Rosetta Stone ( Mr. Owens, I’m trying to learn Italian..that would REALLY help), more food, a two night stay at a luxury hotel in either Miami, West Hollywood, DC or New York, and 6 bottles of wine to take home (so THIS is how the other half lives). So, what do you plan on doing with any or all of that schwag? I’m just asking…..

How much did that cost me?

July 21, 2008 at 9:31 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment
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If you’ve been reading this blog lately, you might remember that I’m trying to stretch my miles-per-gallon.

I just recently stopped to gas up, even though I was only down half a tank. This was how many miles I drove on half a tank:

I’m pretty pumped about getting 209 miles. What I wasn’t pumped about was how much that half tank cost me….

And that was at $3.90-something a gallon! Whoa! I remember when I could refill half a tank for 10 bucks!

A long night for the Dark Knight

July 17, 2008 at 10:16 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 3 Comments
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Thousands of people are in line as I write this…for a chance to see the latest Batman movie: The Dark Knight.

One of those people is my friend Cesar.

Cesar is almost 30, graduated from college, went to business school, then law school, passed the bar, is now a successful lawyer and lives in a house that he bought. He doesn’t live at home with his mother, yet he has a massive comic book collection, partially pictured here:

I’ve been known to poke fun at Cesar for his comic book habit, but now as an adult, he can support it.

So if you are in line to see the movie and see some grown man there and think “What a dork”… you may be right, but that dork might also be a lawyer, or my friend.

Feeling blue…

July 16, 2008 at 3:59 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment
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Not me…my computer. As in Blue Screen of Death.

Not only did my wireless card get cancelled for some reason (thanks techno-gods!), but my hard drive was faulty. Basically, if my computer was a horse, they would have shot it dead.

Blogging will continue as soon as my hard drive arrives. Right now, it’s on a slow boat FROM China.

I wish I was a little bit taller, I wish I was a baller…

July 9, 2008 at 11:53 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments
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DaSagana Diop just signed a 5-year, 32 million dollar deal. According to the DMN, he’ll be making more than 5 million bucks a year….then he’ll get pay raises, etc.

I’d be smiling that much, too, if I was making that kind of money. I’d be smiling even bigger, especially if I put up numbers like Diop.

This was his production this year: 2.9 points per game, 1.1 blocks per game, 5 rebounds per game (2 offensive, 2.9 defensive) and averaging 16.4 minutes a game.

Granted, he’s way better than me, and could easily swat my shot from the AAC to Garland, but that wouldn’t get the crowd cheering.

And they’re paying him how much?! Enough to pose for silly pictures.

That’s Diop on the left.

He’s now making Shane Battier money.  But statistically, Battier is a MUCH better player than Diop.

Now, some people will make the argument that the Mavericks are a better team with him on the floor. Really? Check out these numbers on Diop from 82games.com:

According to the site, for the 70+ games he was on the floor for the Mavericks and Nets, his team shot better when he was on the bench, and opposing teams shot better when he was on the floor. The Mavs are a better offensive rebounding team when he’s on the floor…but they grab more defensive boards when he’s on the bench. Ouch…not good for a 7 footer.

Will this signing help the Mavs? Let me know.

Uninvited Guests

July 9, 2008 at 10:21 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment
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After my trip home to San Antonio, I came home with bug bites.

After complaining of the bites, I was told to buy a “skeeter stick”.  A “what” you ask? A “skeeter stick”. When I first heard that, I figured it was some ridiculous old time remedy involving dirt, ground up roots and manure. And it would probably work like gangbusters, but smell like death.

Instead, I went to the store and bought some of this to stop the itching.

Upon further inspection (I am a reporter, remember) I saw that it helps with “no-see-ums”. 

I’m not a bug doctor, but I’m pretty sure “no-see-ums” is not a scientific name. Why not use the term “you can’t see thems” or “invisible bugs”? Who makes up these names?

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